When we left the studio the night before, I told everyone who asked that I wanted to take home my step outs to practice, which at the time, I intended to do. (Really!) But by the time we got home from dinner, which was only 9:00pm (12am NJ time), we were pooped and hit the hay early.
Having woken up early, I began highlighting all my steps outs on paper at a feverish pace. I was working back and forth between my pattern and the script for the step outs, trying to color-coordinate where each step out was on the script and verbally saying aloud what I was supposed to do. I was studying, folks. Yeah, studying, you see because I was told, “Ohh, you know your stuff better than anyone. Just go with it. You know it.” Yeah. Sure. OK. I write how many patterns a month and I have them all memorized. Sure. I needed to have it down pat because I figured that the moment we arrived, we would be pounced on to bang out our “talking points.”
Speakin’ the Language
“talking points” – This is a Hollywood/Burbank way of saying, “overview.” Don’t be fooled by the language here. You have to talk. And they want you to make a point. But what they really want you to do is tell them in a nutshell what you plan on doing for each step out. Better talk fast or they’ll talk over you with more confusing mumbo-jumbo. When confronted with Burbank-ese language, hit’em hard with real world phrases to confuse them as much as they are confusing you!
The Grand Arrival of the “Talent” via Burbank Style Limo
The studio is located in an area with other unassuming t.v. studios about 5 minutes away from the hotel. Vince, our P.A. driver, pulled up and dropped us off with all our stuff. He was super cool.
They ask you to bring more than one thing to wear on the day of shooting, just in case you were to wear something that would cause a “moire pattern.”
Speakin’ the Language
“moire (pronounced ‘morray’) pattern” – This is if you wear an item that has such a small pattern on it (usually a colorful one to add more visual confusion) and it begins to ‘dance,’ if you will, on camera. They tell you not to wear certain colors and small patterns. Apparently, the quilting group before us all wore bad shirts and they wardrobe lady had to run out and buy them all new ones.
Red Carpet Treatment
Pam, Drew, Larry, and I walk in to the studio to find no one there. No one. A quick peek at the clock tells me we’re 5 minutes early and with any union job, people rarely show up early. I was joking in my own head about the red tape lines being our own “Red Carpet” (see below). I spent the next 20 minutes getting my step outs for the first project ready and then Judy arrived and began grilling me. I pretty much had it down:
After reviewing the “talking points,” the sound guy came over an mic’ed me up. I wasn’t prepared for him to try and make his way up my backside with his hands and pull on my jeans just to get the mic pack clipped, and I told him as much. I got, “This is Hollywood. This is what happens.” He did wind up being another nice guy though.
While we were waiting for the camera men, director, and other staff to get themselves ready for shooting 3 episodes that day, Molly, our assistant producer was working with a model that was hired to wear one of my projects. She was a cute, dark brunette, who was about 5’4” and suprisingly not tan. The top she was to wear needed an adjustment at first, but we got it to fit her fine and she was shoveled over to the green screen in the stage area. You can see it here:
Basically, the model stands on this green, felt-looking material and they take her picture. During the editing phase, they can swap out the background for anything they want. They could place her at the beach, put her in a park, or even on the moon if they wanted to. The comical moment came when the camera men noticed that she had a strategically placed bruise which needed make up! Suzy, the super calm make-up specialist came over and gave her a few swabs of cover up and she was ready for photographing.
Our turn was next. They called us onto the set to begin our first shoot. I wasn’t nervous, but I didn’t know what to expect, so I was uneasy. I also was upset because I knew they wouldn’t let Larry in, even though there was this one perfect place he could stand and be out of the way. He was stuck outside for the day and was told basically that, “You’d be much more comfortable out here.” Bleh. That’s me regurgetating the boloney he was fed with that comment.
The first shoot went well, so the director said. I was calm because that project was easy to remember and I was working off the flow I had established from my. Pam and Drew did an awesome job being there are pretending to be “riveted,” which was yelled over to us from the dark abyss of Electronic Spaghetti (right side of pic):
Having to be on camera wasn’t as frightening as I thought. They make you look at the host anyway, so you don’t get that “deer in the headlights” look about you. What was confusing, however, was dealaing with so many people hiding out in the Electronic Spaghetti who are speaking towards you, but not to you. The director, Gordon, didn’t know my name and I was never sure who he was talking to when he raised his voice. Other than him, there were several men working cameras, and network folks there to monitor the progress, plus your producer, and even the wardrobe person is on set to make sure people look good. Suzy made an appearance every once in awhile to swab our faces with powder. I tend to get shiny.
I really wished someone had given us a clue as to what to expect when we got on set for the reasons stated above: you have so many people talking and you don’t know who is talking to YOU. And sometimes you have more than one person burning a hole in your ear. Several times while demo’ing my first project, the director would yell to the camera men, “Montage” and the camera men would get in close to you.
“Was he talking to me?” I wondered.
Speakin’ the Language
“montaging” – Hollywood for “we’re going to tape you for the next several moments/minutes while you repeat whatever step you’re doing. In crochet, if they asked me to complete a row of SC, I’d just do it slowly. When done, you can resume working in real time.
“What chu talkin’bout?”
I found out after the fact and by experience what “montaging” was. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to talk during these shots, but Allison, Pam, Drew, and I sometimes whispered to one another something silly. After the take, they’d stop the camera and resume their normal camera positions.
After each step out, the cameras were halted, faces might be powdered (if need be), people discussed camera angles, and the props guy would hand off the next step out to whoever was demo’ing. During this time, we’d chit chat. When the next take would begin, Allison would be directed, through her ear piece, to make us appear “riveted.” The joke soon became that we’d laugh and all say, “Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” in a silly, drawn out way, Romper Room kind-of-way. And the cameras would roll tape once again.
Act 1 & 2 was me demo’ing my project. Act 3 was Drew’s project, and Act 4 was supposed to be Pam’s project. They cut hers on the spot because time had run out. I wasn’t happy at all. It was a quick little project. So Act 4 became a “Show and Tell” with us sitting in new spots on the couch talking about STUFF. I can’t even recall. Probably Fluff Stuff.
We finished the first show and watched the next group go on. Jennifer from Textile Fetish was there with two other gals who were doing a sewing bit. I lined up my step outs for the second project and began making cheat sheets on sticky notes. This project was going to be a BEAST to demo, despite nixing half of it the day before. The cheat sheets were necessary and also another way to practice and memorize the steps.
Lunch came after 1:00pm. I was surprised the lunch break was that late in the day, but they do work until 6:30pm, so I guess they try to make it stretch. It was suprisingly yummy Mediterranean food and all food a non-meat-eater could eat. I had 15 minutes to eat and then needed to go over the step outs for project two with the producers. We started the first half and decided, for some unknown reason, not to practice the second half.
With step outs in tow, we headed off the to stage.
The first part of the shoot went OK for me. It wasn’t as smooth as the first shoot though. We had to work out who would hold/do what since I had a symbol chart for one of my projects, plus someone needed to hold the “hero” and someone (ME!) needed to do the demo’ing. This is me demo’ing, with a shot of my face and another of my hands, and Allison’s hands pointing to the “hero.”
Speakin’ the Language
“hero” – The final project in its entirety. It’s what the viewer strives to see being made before their very eyes.
Sweatin’ to the Oldies
I mentioned to the prop guy that I needed my cheat sheet for each step out when he handed me my stuff. At the beginning he was forgetting and I had to remind him. I wasn’t going to be surprised if he was told not to bring it on purpose. I was stashing them on my lap which was being blocked by a large pillow I was demo’ing on. In hindsite, we all said the table might have been a better place to demo because the pillow made our hands sweat like crazy.
Act 2 was the more difficult demo and I felt like I was messing up the whole way. The prop guy had forgottent to hand off my step out once or twice before in the first Act, which was not a big deal, but I saw that it threw off the Electronic Spaghetti brigade. Ha! I felt as though I barely made it through Act 2, and was happy to be able to glance down once or twice at the cheat sheet cleverly disguised on my lap. I didn’t crochet at my normally “go slow because a camera is watching” pace and I spoke too fast sometimes: I was one or two slight steps ahead of what I was demo’ing. Hopefuly they can edit it to make it right in “Post.”
Speakin’ the Language
“Post” – A not so fancy way of saying, “post-production.” It’s what happens when you leave the set and the editors are formatting or arranging the material that was shot to fit the length of the show. Sometimes shows will add in things or take stuff out, or fix sound issues or what have you.
Both Pam and Drew had projects to demo and they did a great job! It’s not easy to talk and crochet and walk people through something if you haven’t done it before. My teaching experience became an assest here. I think that’s what made me feel calm and relatively relaxed. But apparently we were sometimes too relaxed as Gordon, or someone else from the Electronic Spaghetti would yell, “More Energy!”
Speakin’ the Language
“More Energy” – The hardest Burbank-ese phrase to define, it basically means you’re putting people to sleep and you need to act like Allison and be all cheery and talk with your hands, etc.
Pick it Up
By far the most annoying and confusing term that was cast upon us was, “More Energy!” At one point later on in the day, I told one of the Spaghetti people to clearly define what they needed us to do.
“Was I not smiling?” (I thought I was)
“Did I need to speak up?” (Probably).
“Did I need to interject more?” (I talk too much as it is!)
I’m not sure Pam, Drew, and I ever completely grasped “More Energy!” as we found out later on in the day when we were asked to retake a shot because we were too energetic. I will leave you to wonder about the parameters of the term, “More Energy!”. . .
The day ended with me having laid out my step outs for my Day 3 project which was supposed to be an easy one Act deal. They decided to make it a 2 Act deal, for some unknown reason. I was confident about this project more than any other. It was an easy one! I laid out the step outs and did my “talking points” with Judy. I left feeling good about the day and ready to eat and get another good beer.
We went to a place called, “BJ’s.” The food was great. I had some spicy shrimp dish and a great beer. We all joked around about the day and how we felt it went. Everyone looked tired and we headed back to the hotel by 10. Vince was picking us up at 8:15. Hurrah! More sleeping time.
And I fell asleep thinking about how confident and happy I was about the next shoot.
